That's right. I mowed a lawn and that was my payment. Excellent. It was hilarious. I'll take it, though. I would've done it for free. There's nothing like mowing a lawn, you know? I absolutely love it. I love smelling the grass and feeling the rumble of the machine I'm pushing in front of me. Today there were tons of bees, though. I freaked out when I thought I felt one land on my leg and did a crazy dance that the neighbors must have found hilarious. I'm not one to mind making a fool of myself, though. One must make a fool of oneself in order to be truly happy, yes? That might not be true, but whatever. I don't mind it, at least.
So this weekend was amazing! Probably the best weekend of my life. I can't think of a better one, honestly. I was with the greatest people ever, and everyone got along. It was awesome. I want to thank a few of you:
The Oril Family! Thank you so much. You were so hospitable and welcoming the one night I stayed with you all. I loved the patriotic pancakes the next morning as well. I feel like I got to see a little bit more of what kind of hearts you all have, and that really challenged me in my faith. So thank you! I can't wait to see you guys again. Hopefully it won't be too long from now.
Kathleen Oril! You were awesome to hang out with this weekend. You're a really great friend and I wouldn't want anyone else to be my girlfriend's twin sister. I hope your job goes well in these opening weeks and that it's very fruitful for you. Remember... "mo' money, mo' problems" Don't let the rat race control you. I know you won't, because you're awesome and you're rooted (haha, MK's). Take care of yourself and Kristina. You're older, after all.
Allie and the Lucas Fam! You guys were so great to take in Kristina and Kathleen. I know they had such a great time staying with you all, and we all really appreciate it. Allie, you were such a good friend to them this weekend, staying up late and chatting... even though most mornings they had to wake up relatively early... it's all good! And the trampoline and the hamburgers and everything were all really good haha
My family...duh! You guys know...
My friends! John, etc... my boss, Will, for letting me come in early on Saturday. The Oak Hills Neighborhood Association haha, ya'll are great, I guess. God! You made this weekend amazing... and hot!
Kristina! This was the best because I got to spend it with you. I was so happy to see you interact with my family and see how you all got along so well. You fit in down here in Vancouver so perfectly. I'm so happy God has brought us together. I feel like we learned a lot about each other this weekend and we're just much more open and honest now, which is fantastic! We made a lot of fun, silly memories too. Hooch is crazy! I miss you. You should wu ming soon... I'm just saying. I'll probably come up next week, though, if that's OK =)
Listening to some Kanye right now. It's delightful! (Sorry about the stream of consciousness style; I know I don't do it as eloquently as Salinger)
I've been thinking a lot about Calvinism and Arminianism lately... I spent about an hour and half trying to figure it all out today, which I honestly didn't like. I've honestly never been in a church or bible study that even mentioned those subjects. I didn't even know what they were until I went to Capernwray, and now they're this huge thing. Ignorance really is bliss haha. Oh, in case you don't know what those doctrines are, here's a video that gives a decent description of them, check out Mark Driscoll's youtube video on Calvinism vs. Arminianism
So, I really don't want to say what I feel about the issue because I don't want to be labeled "heretic" or "socially awkward" or "closed minded" or whatever labels each group has for the other, and I don't want to cause any more debate or division. Some of you will probably still label me or judge me for not wanting to take a stand on this. It's all well and good to know, or want to know how salvation works, but it seems to me the more important issue is HOW that salvation affects the rest of our lives. How does this new life affect the way we interact with people? How are we now to view our finances? How do we view the poor and homeless? Remember, the greatest command is not to believe in predestination or free will, but rather to love God above all and love those around you. This means we wake up every day and rededicate ourselves to kindness and patience that can only come from God. This means we don't see our money as our own, but as a gift. This means we help those around us in love. This means living faithfully each and every day, seeking His will. This means sacrifice for God and for others, because there was first Sacrifice for us. This means "be being" filled with the Holy Spirit, as Brendan and others at Cape loved to say. This Salvation affects how we see relationships, family, social issues and every single aspect of our lives. It penetrates and rejuvenates us. So am I PREDESTINED to be Arminian? or have I CHOSEN to be Calvinist? I only desire to live faithfully each day, love God with all I am, learn more, affirm the Bible and what God wants, show love to those around me because it was first shown to me and "be being" filled. The rest will be sorted.
Now, feel free to rip me a new one!
This has not been edited, once again. I'm super tired, so if I don't make sense or I'm redundant redundant, just skip that part. Also, sorry if the "thank you's" are inadequate. I tried. This really was a great weekend, though.
I can't stop napping... this is the second day in a row I've taken a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day.
I have a music recommendation! Matisyahu, and his new song "One Day." It's amazing. I love songs about peace.
Peace Out,
Colin
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
life in the USA
I wouldn't publish this on facebook, except for the fact that I don't feel like logging into Blogger... and I may have forgotten how to log in to Blogger, but I'm pretty sure it's just google sign-in information. In any case, I want to do it this way. I feel like it's easier.
Also, thank you to Melinda Groth for prodding me to write a note several weeks ago. It's been in the back of my mind ever since.
It's been a long couple of months. I went to Africa for some amazing missions work, completed Bible School in England, traveled the European continent, came back to live in Vancouver, crashed my car, looked for a job and worked on my watermelon seed spitting ability for a couple months, and here I am now. I have a wonderful girlfriend living in Anacortes, Wa (4 hours north), a job renting bikes to people downtown and the whole summer ahead of me!
So what have I been up to? Today I mostly just listened to sermons and played solitaire. It was kind of nice, but I felt very unproductive so I went to the gym and now I'm writing this note, so there you go!
Not all of my days have been this pleasant... ok, too many of them have, probably. Coming back from Bible School has been the most difficult time in my life, honestly. The majority of the time I've felt very alone with few people I can actually talk to. It's an incredibly hard shift to go from living in a castle with 170 people, part of a close-knit community of Christians who are your friends and who love you, to living in a new part of town where you know no one and most of your friends are still at school. I slowly began to realize that I probably wouldn't see most of the people from Capernwray (Bible School) ever again, and even if I did it wouldn't be quite the same, just like it wasn't the same coming back to the friends I had in high school. Over the past couple months, I've hated change. And in the midst of all of these realizations, I contracted food poisoning from a McDonald's in Chicago and crashed/totaled my 1997 BMW 528i. Also, I felt a lot of pressure to find a job, and when I couldn't find one, I felt as thought something was wrong with me, though I didn't know exactly what, which caused me anguish to no end. Surely this is Job must have felt (hyperbole, in case you couldn't tell)! Since coming back from England, I've been angry with God, angry with myself, frustrated, bored and very lonely. I've felt useless, futureless, dumb and unworthy. That's my sob story.
Through this all, I've kept focused on God. I know He's always there, even though I don't know what He's doing, why "my life sucks" at times. I know He breaks down in order to build up. I know that going through valleys is part of the Christian experience. These are things that I cling to! I once heard a sermon by John Mark Comer at The Way about going through valleys, or dark times in your life, and it's been somewhat helpful to me to look back at my notes from that, but at the same time, a bit hard. One of the pieces of advice that John Mark gives is to look for blessings in the valleys. I have seen many blessings. I eventually found a job, as I mentioned above. I have kept in contact with my wonderful girlfriend, Kristina. I live in the beautiful northwest on the shores of the Columbia River. I've had lots of time to read and go to the gym. I've made a couple new friends through the college Bible study I've started attending. These have all been great things! Plus, I watched every episode of Scrubs...great show, though I'm a little embarrassed to admit my obsession. John Mark also mentioned that in hard times you must "dig a well" or look for what you can get out of your difficulties. I don't know what I got out of my difficulties. I think I'm still coming through it. I only pray and hope that God creates a better, newer, stronger version of me out of this. I hope that somehow I become more loving and compassionate. I've definitely become more humble. There's no doubt about that. John Mark's final point was to "take something with you" or find ways to help others going through tough times. My only advice to people is to keep surrounding yourself with good friends! Being alone for so long took a definitely toll on me. I wish I could/would have surrounded myself with good people more often after returning from Capernwray. With respect to feeling useless, remember that God loves you and that's all that really matters. If you can't find a job, don't let that dictate your attitude towards your entire life. Don't let anyone judge you for not having a job or a car or getting into the right school or anything like that, because once you get into that it's just a vicious cycle that leads either to an overly competitive, stressed out, materialistic spirit and death or to depression, worthlessness and death. Neither are good, obviously. Above all, remember, "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." John Mark's message was based on Psalm 84, by the way.
Through all of this, there have been a couple people who I feel have always been there and have always brought me love and comfort.
First of all, Kristina. Coming to Capernwray, I didn't think I'd meet anyone like her, and it wasn't my intention to start a relationship, as she knows. She is the most caring, kind person I know. She would do absolutely anything for any of her friends without even thinking about it. She shows Christ's love to people in such an amazing way, and it inspires me! And it leaves me in awe. She encourages me and reminds me what's important in my life, simply through her actions and the thoughts she shares with me. Being away from her for 3 months is part of what made that time so hard, but talking to her on the phone and writing each other emails every couple days got me through it in a big way. I finally got to see her last Thursday and Friday, spending the night in Anacortes with her family and finally meeting her parents. Her family is so kind, as well! Really great folks. I'm glad I got to meet them, though I knew her twin sister Kathleen through Bible School and met her sister Emily when she visited them in England. Kristina is absolutely amazing in every single way, and "I would choose to be with her everyday over anyone else in the entire world," to paraphrase/butcher Mark Driscoll. Also, I love Kristina's nose and the fact that she was homeschooled. She's really funny when she's annoyed and when she and Kathleen disagree (which I don't see much). I also love the fact that she's from a little town like Anacortes. I love how different we are, and how we can share things so wonderfully.
John Abercrombie. John Abercrombie is a beautiful man with the body of Zeus and the mind of Plato. Over the past couple months, seeing John has been a respite. We have been best friends for... 8 years? 7 years? who knows... but I can be myself around him, and it's awesome. When I'm with him all of my other cares melt away and I live in the moment, enjoying the silliness and friendship. Also, he introduced me to garlic on sandwiches, which is fantastic. John's pretty much the only person who can make me laugh until I cry on a regular basis.
I know I have other friends in my life, and I love you all. That's all I will say about that...
So here I am...sitting at my computer. I have a broken window. The glass is intact, but it won't close because the gears are all messed up, which is kind of the opposite of what I was going for when I sprayed them with WD40. I'm listening the Sufjan's Christmas Songs which, I know, won't be appropriate for another 5 months or so, but all you Sufjan fans out there can back me up on how great his Christmas collection is, no matter what time of year. Plus, we just passed Jesus' half-birthday (and no one said anything!), so i figure I should celebrate in such a way. Have a wonderful day, to all of you who actually read this! To all of my Capernwray friends, I love you and miss you! This note has not been edited, so if I sound whiny, sappy or whatever, just disregard that part because it's only a snapshot of my heart and thoughts (though I meant all that stuff about Kristina, haha). Watch out for another note soon! I'm reading through Acts (for fun), Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama (for school) and various other books (also for fun) so watch for my thoughts on those or other topics. We'll see. Shawn Johnson!
Also, thank you to Melinda Groth for prodding me to write a note several weeks ago. It's been in the back of my mind ever since.
It's been a long couple of months. I went to Africa for some amazing missions work, completed Bible School in England, traveled the European continent, came back to live in Vancouver, crashed my car, looked for a job and worked on my watermelon seed spitting ability for a couple months, and here I am now. I have a wonderful girlfriend living in Anacortes, Wa (4 hours north), a job renting bikes to people downtown and the whole summer ahead of me!
So what have I been up to? Today I mostly just listened to sermons and played solitaire. It was kind of nice, but I felt very unproductive so I went to the gym and now I'm writing this note, so there you go!
Not all of my days have been this pleasant... ok, too many of them have, probably. Coming back from Bible School has been the most difficult time in my life, honestly. The majority of the time I've felt very alone with few people I can actually talk to. It's an incredibly hard shift to go from living in a castle with 170 people, part of a close-knit community of Christians who are your friends and who love you, to living in a new part of town where you know no one and most of your friends are still at school. I slowly began to realize that I probably wouldn't see most of the people from Capernwray (Bible School) ever again, and even if I did it wouldn't be quite the same, just like it wasn't the same coming back to the friends I had in high school. Over the past couple months, I've hated change. And in the midst of all of these realizations, I contracted food poisoning from a McDonald's in Chicago and crashed/totaled my 1997 BMW 528i. Also, I felt a lot of pressure to find a job, and when I couldn't find one, I felt as thought something was wrong with me, though I didn't know exactly what, which caused me anguish to no end. Surely this is Job must have felt (hyperbole, in case you couldn't tell)! Since coming back from England, I've been angry with God, angry with myself, frustrated, bored and very lonely. I've felt useless, futureless, dumb and unworthy. That's my sob story.
Through this all, I've kept focused on God. I know He's always there, even though I don't know what He's doing, why "my life sucks" at times. I know He breaks down in order to build up. I know that going through valleys is part of the Christian experience. These are things that I cling to! I once heard a sermon by John Mark Comer at The Way about going through valleys, or dark times in your life, and it's been somewhat helpful to me to look back at my notes from that, but at the same time, a bit hard. One of the pieces of advice that John Mark gives is to look for blessings in the valleys. I have seen many blessings. I eventually found a job, as I mentioned above. I have kept in contact with my wonderful girlfriend, Kristina. I live in the beautiful northwest on the shores of the Columbia River. I've had lots of time to read and go to the gym. I've made a couple new friends through the college Bible study I've started attending. These have all been great things! Plus, I watched every episode of Scrubs...great show, though I'm a little embarrassed to admit my obsession. John Mark also mentioned that in hard times you must "dig a well" or look for what you can get out of your difficulties. I don't know what I got out of my difficulties. I think I'm still coming through it. I only pray and hope that God creates a better, newer, stronger version of me out of this. I hope that somehow I become more loving and compassionate. I've definitely become more humble. There's no doubt about that. John Mark's final point was to "take something with you" or find ways to help others going through tough times. My only advice to people is to keep surrounding yourself with good friends! Being alone for so long took a definitely toll on me. I wish I could/would have surrounded myself with good people more often after returning from Capernwray. With respect to feeling useless, remember that God loves you and that's all that really matters. If you can't find a job, don't let that dictate your attitude towards your entire life. Don't let anyone judge you for not having a job or a car or getting into the right school or anything like that, because once you get into that it's just a vicious cycle that leads either to an overly competitive, stressed out, materialistic spirit and death or to depression, worthlessness and death. Neither are good, obviously. Above all, remember, "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." John Mark's message was based on Psalm 84, by the way.
Through all of this, there have been a couple people who I feel have always been there and have always brought me love and comfort.
First of all, Kristina. Coming to Capernwray, I didn't think I'd meet anyone like her, and it wasn't my intention to start a relationship, as she knows. She is the most caring, kind person I know. She would do absolutely anything for any of her friends without even thinking about it. She shows Christ's love to people in such an amazing way, and it inspires me! And it leaves me in awe. She encourages me and reminds me what's important in my life, simply through her actions and the thoughts she shares with me. Being away from her for 3 months is part of what made that time so hard, but talking to her on the phone and writing each other emails every couple days got me through it in a big way. I finally got to see her last Thursday and Friday, spending the night in Anacortes with her family and finally meeting her parents. Her family is so kind, as well! Really great folks. I'm glad I got to meet them, though I knew her twin sister Kathleen through Bible School and met her sister Emily when she visited them in England. Kristina is absolutely amazing in every single way, and "I would choose to be with her everyday over anyone else in the entire world," to paraphrase/butcher Mark Driscoll. Also, I love Kristina's nose and the fact that she was homeschooled. She's really funny when she's annoyed and when she and Kathleen disagree (which I don't see much). I also love the fact that she's from a little town like Anacortes. I love how different we are, and how we can share things so wonderfully.
John Abercrombie. John Abercrombie is a beautiful man with the body of Zeus and the mind of Plato. Over the past couple months, seeing John has been a respite. We have been best friends for... 8 years? 7 years? who knows... but I can be myself around him, and it's awesome. When I'm with him all of my other cares melt away and I live in the moment, enjoying the silliness and friendship. Also, he introduced me to garlic on sandwiches, which is fantastic. John's pretty much the only person who can make me laugh until I cry on a regular basis.
I know I have other friends in my life, and I love you all. That's all I will say about that...
So here I am...sitting at my computer. I have a broken window. The glass is intact, but it won't close because the gears are all messed up, which is kind of the opposite of what I was going for when I sprayed them with WD40. I'm listening the Sufjan's Christmas Songs which, I know, won't be appropriate for another 5 months or so, but all you Sufjan fans out there can back me up on how great his Christmas collection is, no matter what time of year. Plus, we just passed Jesus' half-birthday (and no one said anything!), so i figure I should celebrate in such a way. Have a wonderful day, to all of you who actually read this! To all of my Capernwray friends, I love you and miss you! This note has not been edited, so if I sound whiny, sappy or whatever, just disregard that part because it's only a snapshot of my heart and thoughts (though I meant all that stuff about Kristina, haha). Watch out for another note soon! I'm reading through Acts (for fun), Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama (for school) and various other books (also for fun) so watch for my thoughts on those or other topics. We'll see. Shawn Johnson!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Mulling things over
Hey guys!
It's been a while since I've posted a blog, but I just haven't felt extremely inspired until tonight. I feel like I've just sort of been floating through my time here in the UK in some ways, but I feel like some great things have happened the last couple weeks. There have been some relational problems, but they are minor and not important right now, I feel. I'm really tired tonight, just to set up this particular blog post.
There have been a few events over the last couple days that have impacted me and helped me to become "new" in the way that I want, and in the way that I feel honors God. First, the Africa team that I'm on led a the youth programs at a local church on Sunday. We taught the kids about judging people and read the story of how God used Samuel to pick David. I realized that I have judged so many people, even in my time at Capernwray, and I've continued to do so even after I "know" them. I realize that for so many people I interact with on a daily basis, I am still judging them based on the surface, and not what God sees. I'm not truly loving them. What do you see when you interact with people? Is it what God sees, which is their heart? Do you look at them with love? Not only was the lesson we taught challenging for myself, but I feel it brought our team closer, which is great. We also had an Africa team party last night which was a great bonding experience.
Today, I worked on my evangelistic tract, which was an interesting experience. I didn't even know what a tract was until last week. I don't know how well they work in this country, though, since only 3% of people attend church on a regular basis. It was cool to feel like God was using me to communicate His message, though. After that I read the first half of 1 Corinthians, which was a great reminder. The end of 1 Corinthians 7 says that we were bought at a price, and that price was the life of God's son. We don't belong to ourselves anymore, but we belong to God. We are for Him to use since he paid the highest price for us. I find great comfort in this. I don't want to belong to a flawed being. I belong to the greatest being ever. He's so great that he is utterly unimaginable for our minds.
Finally, tonight for last lecture we had a woman named Joan Fiore give her testimony. This really touched me. I've been very challenged by it, and that's what I'm mulling over. She brought up Psalm 109, but I believe she meant Psalm 139 which says "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Joan said that when she gets introspective, all she sees is junk inside of herself, which is problem I never realized I had. But I don't have to search myself. I can let God do it and judge for himself what I am like. I don't have to be bogged down by all the imperfections I see in myself, or others for that matter. And He will lead me in the way everlasting. Welcome to comfort town, as I sometimes say.
Here's a song by the Hush Sound about the fall of man. It's a good tune, you should check it out:
Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
It hung heavy on the tree above your head
This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect
Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars
Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive
Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
And there is discord in the garden tonight
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
I cut the arrow from your neck
Stretched you beneath the tree
Among the roots and baby's breath
I covered us with silver leaves
Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
The sea is wine red (Gloria, we lied)
This is the death of beauty (this is the time and place)
The doves have died (Gloria, we lied)
The lovers have lied (this is the time and place)
Love you guys,
Colin
There have been a few events over the last couple days that have impacted me and helped me to become "new" in the way that I want, and in the way that I feel honors God. First, the Africa team that I'm on led a the youth programs at a local church on Sunday. We taught the kids about judging people and read the story of how God used Samuel to pick David. I realized that I have judged so many people, even in my time at Capernwray, and I've continued to do so even after I "know" them. I realize that for so many people I interact with on a daily basis, I am still judging them based on the surface, and not what God sees. I'm not truly loving them. What do you see when you interact with people? Is it what God sees, which is their heart? Do you look at them with love? Not only was the lesson we taught challenging for myself, but I feel it brought our team closer, which is great. We also had an Africa team party last night which was a great bonding experience.
Today, I worked on my evangelistic tract, which was an interesting experience. I didn't even know what a tract was until last week. I don't know how well they work in this country, though, since only 3% of people attend church on a regular basis. It was cool to feel like God was using me to communicate His message, though. After that I read the first half of 1 Corinthians, which was a great reminder. The end of 1 Corinthians 7 says that we were bought at a price, and that price was the life of God's son. We don't belong to ourselves anymore, but we belong to God. We are for Him to use since he paid the highest price for us. I find great comfort in this. I don't want to belong to a flawed being. I belong to the greatest being ever. He's so great that he is utterly unimaginable for our minds.
Finally, tonight for last lecture we had a woman named Joan Fiore give her testimony. This really touched me. I've been very challenged by it, and that's what I'm mulling over. She brought up Psalm 109, but I believe she meant Psalm 139 which says "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Joan said that when she gets introspective, all she sees is junk inside of herself, which is problem I never realized I had. But I don't have to search myself. I can let God do it and judge for himself what I am like. I don't have to be bogged down by all the imperfections I see in myself, or others for that matter. And He will lead me in the way everlasting. Welcome to comfort town, as I sometimes say.
Here's a song by the Hush Sound about the fall of man. It's a good tune, you should check it out:
Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
It hung heavy on the tree above your head
This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect
Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars
Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive
Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
And there is discord in the garden tonight
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
I cut the arrow from your neck
Stretched you beneath the tree
Among the roots and baby's breath
I covered us with silver leaves
Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied
The sea is wine red (Gloria, we lied)
This is the death of beauty (this is the time and place)
The doves have died (Gloria, we lied)
The lovers have lied (this is the time and place)
Love you guys,
Colin
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Back at Capernwray!
Hey all!
Sorry it's been a while since my last post (not that you are obsessed with my blog or anything, but I said I'd update fairly often, so it's really more of an apology to myself for putting it off). It's been a crazy couple weeks, but I've started to get into more of routine here at Capernwray. Back to the old grind, as they say. I truly intend to suck this semester dry, however. I don't want to have any regrets, especially about "not growing enough" or anything like that, so I'm making the most of it. The staff has been very encouraging in this endeavor as well. It seems like all the talks we've had so far have pointed me to this in some way or another.
In this post, I just want to share a few quick thoughts about pride. Ever since I read Mere Christianity by CS Lewis last summer, I've realized that pride is the biggest stumbling block in my life (and most people's). Pride causes all conflicts I have with other people. Pride keeps me from seeking any help that I may need. Pride keeps me from growing. And this isn't pride as a concept. This is my pride. I think I'm too good or I'm right or why would they possibly act they way towards me since I'm such a good person? But the truth is I'm not in most cases, especially the latter. The scriptures say we have nothing to boast except Christ. All I have is because of Him, so there's no room for me to have any pride. So as you read this, please consider this: you may not be, and probably aren't, right most of the time. God is on your side, but you are probably not always on His. That's what sin is, right? So get off your high horse. Accept that God is right, and he may be using other people who you are opposed to to express his thoughts. Don't be stubborn. Be willing to change. This is why the church is considered a joke and a disgrace by many. Christians aren't willing to change their ways and therefore can't represent the real Christ.
Anyway, on to lighter things. I'm sitting here in the prep room with a crowd of international folks while listening to Kings of Leon (thanks John). My trip was long and strenuous, but Caitie and I made to London safely. We decided to try to stay up until at least 9 (meaning we wouldn't have slept for over 24 hours), so we went out to see Westminster Abbey and Parliament, and who do we run into but Jeremy, John Bird and Phil!? So we shopped (though I didn't buy anything) and got some pizza. We were going to see a movie, but it was extremely expensive, but let's just say that my love of London has rekindled. I realized that the tube can be kind, especially when you don't have 1000 lbs of luggage. I also realized that, while Piccadilly Circus is a cheap British rip off of Times Square, it's still nice in its own way. Capernwray has been great so far. It's been nice to see people and catch up on what happened over the break. There were some pretty crazy adventures. Also, I have an amazing room that my crazy roommates and I completely decked out today. Then we watched Doug. The internet is shutting off soon, so until next time!
Peace,
Colin
PS- Happy Birthday, John! and thanks for the note, Jessica. It was a nice present to find when I arrived here last night.
Sorry it's been a while since my last post (not that you are obsessed with my blog or anything, but I said I'd update fairly often, so it's really more of an apology to myself for putting it off). It's been a crazy couple weeks, but I've started to get into more of routine here at Capernwray. Back to the old grind, as they say. I truly intend to suck this semester dry, however. I don't want to have any regrets, especially about "not growing enough" or anything like that, so I'm making the most of it. The staff has been very encouraging in this endeavor as well. It seems like all the talks we've had so far have pointed me to this in some way or another.
In this post, I just want to share a few quick thoughts about pride. Ever since I read Mere Christianity by CS Lewis last summer, I've realized that pride is the biggest stumbling block in my life (and most people's). Pride causes all conflicts I have with other people. Pride keeps me from seeking any help that I may need. Pride keeps me from growing. And this isn't pride as a concept. This is my pride. I think I'm too good or I'm right or why would they possibly act they way towards me since I'm such a good person? But the truth is I'm not in most cases, especially the latter. The scriptures say we have nothing to boast except Christ. All I have is because of Him, so there's no room for me to have any pride. So as you read this, please consider this: you may not be, and probably aren't, right most of the time. God is on your side, but you are probably not always on His. That's what sin is, right? So get off your high horse. Accept that God is right, and he may be using other people who you are opposed to to express his thoughts. Don't be stubborn. Be willing to change. This is why the church is considered a joke and a disgrace by many. Christians aren't willing to change their ways and therefore can't represent the real Christ.
Anyway, on to lighter things. I'm sitting here in the prep room with a crowd of international folks while listening to Kings of Leon (thanks John). My trip was long and strenuous, but Caitie and I made to London safely. We decided to try to stay up until at least 9 (meaning we wouldn't have slept for over 24 hours), so we went out to see Westminster Abbey and Parliament, and who do we run into but Jeremy, John Bird and Phil!? So we shopped (though I didn't buy anything) and got some pizza. We were going to see a movie, but it was extremely expensive, but let's just say that my love of London has rekindled. I realized that the tube can be kind, especially when you don't have 1000 lbs of luggage. I also realized that, while Piccadilly Circus is a cheap British rip off of Times Square, it's still nice in its own way. Capernwray has been great so far. It's been nice to see people and catch up on what happened over the break. There were some pretty crazy adventures. Also, I have an amazing room that my crazy roommates and I completely decked out today. Then we watched Doug. The internet is shutting off soon, so until next time!
Peace,
Colin
PS- Happy Birthday, John! and thanks for the note, Jessica. It was a nice present to find when I arrived here last night.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Pride, Apples and the Beach
I always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called your name
i have an idea
placed in your mind
to be a better man
ive made a crown for you
put it in your room
and when the bridegroom comes
there will be noise
there will be glad
and a perfect bed
and when you write a poem
i know the words
i know the sounds
before you write it down
-Sufjan Stevens
Hey guys
I just thought I'd start off this post with those Sufjan lyrics because they not only beautiful, but so true. Here's a thought: When the "bridegroom" comes, will you be disappointed? This question was posed to me early on at Capernwray, and it rattled me a bit. I have all these goals and put so much weight on what I want to accomplish on Earth that any disruption of that, even the second coming, would actually upset me. I had to make a decision: do I want make earthly things and earthly success my primary focus, or do I rely more on God and the worth I gain from Him? Since thinking about this question, I obviously try to choose the latter as much as possible. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, success, especially success in our western paradigm, is not extremely important. I think the following passage kind of relates to this topic.
Matthew 6.19-21: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
I was going to talk about pride during this post, but I think I'll save that for my next one, hopefully.
I had a very interesting weekend. My family and I went to Lincoln City with my grandparents and my aunt and uncle. We spent a lot of time playing apples to apples, which most of my family had never played before. We went down on the cold beach and got splashed by the waves. I took a few pictures and a video which was posted on my last blog. I realize it didn't come out very well. Sorry about that. I realized that Crazy Horse and Sean Connery are the trump cards for me in apples to apples. So funny! The best part of the weekend had to be this morning, however. I woke up to my brother saying "Col, you gotta come downstairs. Dad and Lindsay are singing on the Wii." My Dad is a hilariously horrible singer. He sang pocketful of sunshine, which was perfectly side-splitting. Great moment in Dilworth family history. Also, my brother and I planned our trip around Europe in March. We're going to Paris, the Rhine Valley, Switzerland and a bunch of places in Italy including the Cinque Terre. If you have any tips about my trip, like places I should go or something, let me know.
Also, if you have any comments about my first paragraph or so, let me know. I'd love to get a sereies of wall posts or something going.
Peace,
Colin
in your mothers arms
i have called your name
i have an idea
placed in your mind
to be a better man
ive made a crown for you
put it in your room
and when the bridegroom comes
there will be noise
there will be glad
and a perfect bed
and when you write a poem
i know the words
i know the sounds
before you write it down
-Sufjan Stevens
Hey guys
I just thought I'd start off this post with those Sufjan lyrics because they not only beautiful, but so true. Here's a thought: When the "bridegroom" comes, will you be disappointed? This question was posed to me early on at Capernwray, and it rattled me a bit. I have all these goals and put so much weight on what I want to accomplish on Earth that any disruption of that, even the second coming, would actually upset me. I had to make a decision: do I want make earthly things and earthly success my primary focus, or do I rely more on God and the worth I gain from Him? Since thinking about this question, I obviously try to choose the latter as much as possible. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, success, especially success in our western paradigm, is not extremely important. I think the following passage kind of relates to this topic.
Matthew 6.19-21: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
I was going to talk about pride during this post, but I think I'll save that for my next one, hopefully.
I had a very interesting weekend. My family and I went to Lincoln City with my grandparents and my aunt and uncle. We spent a lot of time playing apples to apples, which most of my family had never played before. We went down on the cold beach and got splashed by the waves. I took a few pictures and a video which was posted on my last blog. I realize it didn't come out very well. Sorry about that. I realized that Crazy Horse and Sean Connery are the trump cards for me in apples to apples. So funny! The best part of the weekend had to be this morning, however. I woke up to my brother saying "Col, you gotta come downstairs. Dad and Lindsay are singing on the Wii." My Dad is a hilariously horrible singer. He sang pocketful of sunshine, which was perfectly side-splitting. Great moment in Dilworth family history. Also, my brother and I planned our trip around Europe in March. We're going to Paris, the Rhine Valley, Switzerland and a bunch of places in Italy including the Cinque Terre. If you have any tips about my trip, like places I should go or something, let me know.
Also, if you have any comments about my first paragraph or so, let me know. I'd love to get a sereies of wall posts or something going.
Peace,
Colin
Saturday, December 27, 2008
First post
Hey guys!
Welcome to my blog. I know you probably think I got this because everyone else is doing it and I just jumped on the bandwagon, which is probably true, but there are other reasons as well. While I'm away in England and next year New York, I want to keep everyone updated with my life and my thoughts, which can be profound on the rarest of occasions. Mostly, I feel like I need some sort of outlet to help me express my faith and my "journey to become new."
The title of my blog is inspired by the Jars of Clay song Dead Man. So often I feel like I'm not living even close to my full potential. I've been reading this book by John Ortberg for school which has really opened my eyes. It talks about talents, and I feel like I haven't fully realized all of my talents, and I'm certainly not using them as well as I could. I've always said that I'm and encourager and that's how I reach out to people and make the world a better place, but often I feel that this glorifies myself more than it lifts up others or glorifies God. So this will be the loose theme of my blog. I want to be different. I want to discover new things about myself and stretch myself so God can use me to a much greater potential than at present, whatever that means. I suppose I should define my Christian cliches, but that might take some time in itself.
There will also be some lighter stuff in this blog, so please read it! I'm not going to make this blog too fancy or anything. Well, maybe I will. We'll see. I appreciate any responses you folks have for me. Any advice you want to give I will try to take graciously and use. Honestly, though, I'm pretty sensitive and I hate criticism on a lot of levels, but I've been trying to realize that while God uses people to stretch others, His opinion is the only one that really matters, and I know that He loves me. Who are people to judge me or anyone else? People are flawed as is their judgment. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with me in any way. I have many problems, but so do you and so does everyone else.
Anyways, that's the groundwork. I'm at the beach with my family having a grand old time. Enjoy my blog. I'll update it every few days, I hope!
Peace,
Colin
Welcome to my blog. I know you probably think I got this because everyone else is doing it and I just jumped on the bandwagon, which is probably true, but there are other reasons as well. While I'm away in England and next year New York, I want to keep everyone updated with my life and my thoughts, which can be profound on the rarest of occasions. Mostly, I feel like I need some sort of outlet to help me express my faith and my "journey to become new."
The title of my blog is inspired by the Jars of Clay song Dead Man. So often I feel like I'm not living even close to my full potential. I've been reading this book by John Ortberg for school which has really opened my eyes. It talks about talents, and I feel like I haven't fully realized all of my talents, and I'm certainly not using them as well as I could. I've always said that I'm and encourager and that's how I reach out to people and make the world a better place, but often I feel that this glorifies myself more than it lifts up others or glorifies God. So this will be the loose theme of my blog. I want to be different. I want to discover new things about myself and stretch myself so God can use me to a much greater potential than at present, whatever that means. I suppose I should define my Christian cliches, but that might take some time in itself.
There will also be some lighter stuff in this blog, so please read it! I'm not going to make this blog too fancy or anything. Well, maybe I will. We'll see. I appreciate any responses you folks have for me. Any advice you want to give I will try to take graciously and use. Honestly, though, I'm pretty sensitive and I hate criticism on a lot of levels, but I've been trying to realize that while God uses people to stretch others, His opinion is the only one that really matters, and I know that He loves me. Who are people to judge me or anyone else? People are flawed as is their judgment. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with me in any way. I have many problems, but so do you and so does everyone else.
Anyways, that's the groundwork. I'm at the beach with my family having a grand old time. Enjoy my blog. I'll update it every few days, I hope!
Peace,
Colin
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